Updated: Dec 21, 2019
By Sparkian Sulekha Chandra
Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds
Relation means connection or bond we share with other people or things. Any creation that we see, exists in clusters and human beings are no different. It’s because God designed us interdependent with varied strengths and talents which we are able to utilize by an amazing agent called emotion. Emotions cause us to behave differently in different situations. They arise from some or the other stimulus, internal or external in the form of personal need/desire or by way of our interaction with other beings on earth.
The dynamics of human relationships are a complex matter as we are capable of expanding our connections endlessly. Some relationships though nurtured with a lot of love and effort can fall prey to indifference and insensitivity just because we forget the roots of our emotions and only deal with the surface of it.
This is a story which would help in digging our past and use the debris to strengthen the walls of relationships again.
Himanshi and Shantanu had an arranged marriage. They had three children. Shantanu was the son of a farmer who worked very hard to make it possible for his son to go to University. Education and relationships were of paramount importance to him. He completed his masters in Humanities and became a well-known name in the educational community for his contribution to relationship management. Soon he was awarded for his contribution in the form of books and journals in several educational summits. His fame infused in him a sense of responsibility wherein his own family members became elements of his human relationships laboratory. Shantanu would take great care in listening empathetically and analyze the emotions of persons involved before responding. It became a usual practice and soon he started talking to his better half, Himanshi, about his thought process and practices they should follow as a family for a stronger bond, trust-building, and openness.
Owing to work demands, the family had to shift to another region which was almost a three-hour drive from their home. Shantanu required a more peaceful atmosphere for being able to think and write. Himanshi came from a well- educated background. Her father was a businessman who inherited the family business of retail items. She was well versed with ups and downs in a business-oriented family setting.
While the family was at the new location, everything was all well but their relationship soon started getting stained with frequent arguments because she would insist on frequent travels to the previous region only to buy retail items that were easily available at the new location. Such travels were objected by Shantanu as he couldn’t make sense of it. He reasoned that there was no logic in spending more time and effort in buying something that was easily available. Himanshi was adamant and would buy only from the previous location. She would never explain or give any reasons to satisfy his logic. Shantanu perceived this as sheer obsession and was at an absolute loss to understand this obsession. This issue became symbolic of irrational thinking and generated negative feelings in him. He stopped talking and if at all he would talk to her, he would lose control and say things which he shouldn’t have said. He would slip in the negative tongue and later apologize, but Himanshi persisted with statements which in fact had no base... The atmosphere in the home grew extremely tense. Children started feeling scared and would avoid facing their parents. The last nail in the coffin was when Shantanu suggested taking psychic help. That was when she demanded a divorce.
The silence in ‘once upon a time’ happy home grew dreadful and Shantanu was now in reality–check mode. His love for relationship management challenged his thought process. He went on long silent walks with Himanshi expecting her to speak something but it turned out to be a futile effort. He would usually never trade his time with her but now the communication gap had grown painful. Himanshi was now sure to walk out of this relationship.
Things took a turn one fine day when she was preparing to visit her lawyer. Shantanu submerged in rupture of loving memories, made a final attempt by holding her hands and asked the real reason with tears in his eyes.
Both of them were in tears when something synergistic happened as if they were open to learning more about each other. She started talking about her father, his struggles while bringing her up in the absence of her mother and how due to losses, he sold his business and would somehow make ends meet. During an economic downturn, he had experienced severe financial difficulties and the only thing that enabled him to stay in business was a finance loan from that particular retail store from where she would buy things so that her father would get credit points to support his loan.
Himanshi had an unusually deep and sweet relationship with her father. She would listen to all his daily worries and concerns about the business. This communication took place in most relaxed moments when her subconscious mind was planted with a deep reverence for her father. Hearing this, Shantanu could find her emotional root about that particular store. He felt an increased sense of reverence for her as both of them had tremendous insight into their own personalities which involved loyalty towards relationships.
Sometimes seemingly trivial things have roots in deep emotional encounters. One cannot deal with the surface without going deeper into the sacred ground of another’s heart. For Himanshi and Shantanu, it was like happiness, security and values coming alive again into their lives. They began a precious companionship with greater understanding and respect for their children as well.
About Sulekha Chandra
Founder of Gyan Paradise, Sulekha Chandra is a youth mentor, corporate trainer, content developer, training and development professional with experience in Corporate HR.
She is a motivational speaker, author, editor and reviewer at various national and international platforms.