By Jigna Tanna
Contributory Author for Spark Igniting Minds
N.B.: I had massive goosebumps while writing this article and it has taken a lot of my courage to present it in the form of an ode to all the respected, loving fathers of the world.
Father: The word itself reflects dominance and prominence. Normally in our human society, fathers are considered to be the head of a family whose decisions are considered as the ultimate veto power and the general mindset is that the decisions made by him at the majority of the times are devoid of emotions. Living in an extended joint family, my father was the ultimate decision-maker. At that point in time, my young novice mind found my father a little harsh, irrational, and a little insensitive. What my super sensitive mind was unable to grasp was that many times he had to adhere to strict principles and discipline for the smooth running of the entire household and at the same time he had to be careful not to hurt anyone’s sentiments and emotions.
I was always an extraordinary intelligent since childhood. I would always be in the top three rankers in my class and also excel in extra co-curricular activities. On the other hand, my cousin living with us was a little average in studies and slightly less blessed in matters of height, facial features, skin, color, and grace. My father during my entire childhood and growing years; according to my perception and own silly thoughts which constantly wreaked havoc in my mind, thought that he favored and sided her more than me. It constantly hammered in my mind that he was always partial towards my cousin and favored her and reprimanded me. Due to this weird feeling, I started distancing myself emotionally from him. In the bargain, I became extremely close to my mom, which I am even now, as I always to date find her as my lifeline. What I was unable to catch was that my father wanted both the daughters of the house to be par excellence and not sideline any one of us. It was not that he didn’t want me to have an edge over others.
On the contrary, he wanted me to do extremely well in life and unleash all my potential and inherent skills to rock it, but he also didn’t want my cousin to feel belittled, left out and unwanted.
For all fathers or father figures, I suppose love for all their children is the same. Every father wants each one of his children to do amazingly well in life. In the eyes of a father, rainbows are painted for every child of his. No one is a little less or no one a little more in any area of life. ALL AT PAR. It took me years to understand his unrequited love, support, and admiration for me. Till this date, I regret that I could not fathom the gleam of pride, happiness, joy, and warmth in his eyes for me. Now when I am a mother of a 20-year-old son, and when I look upon my husband, I feel that I have undergone ‘excruciating labor pain’ just once in a lifetime, but my husband as a father is undergoing ‘labor pain’ every single day to make my son’s life extremely comfortable and see to it that he is being fed with a diamond spoon. Quite like my husband and father, I feel all fathers on this planet am sure are undergoing immense pain every single day so that they can fulfill the whims and fancies of their children and in the bargain, they keep crushing their own dreams and desires.
God has given a superior edge of masculinity in each and every father, thus they never emote their sacrifices, hurt, anger, crushed expectations, betrayal, wisdom, and respect and more such things in life. During their roller coaster ride of life, they manage a complete balance of highs and lows without giving an inkling of their emotional or physical turmoil.
Fathers are the most underestimated, undermined, undeterred silent bearers of the family. They are indeed in true words the ‘silent torchbearers’ of our lives. They just keep GIVING AND GIVING AND GIVING WITHOUT EXPECTING. There are times when many of us really want to go and hug and thank our fathers for giving us the most amazing and beautiful lives we are living now, full of worthiness and value. But somehow we hesitate and hold ourselves back. But is this hesitation and holding back worth it? If NO, then today itself go and just give a little heartfelt hug to your father and simply tell him how much you love him!
About the Author
Jigna Tanna is an author, a performance strategist, and a change catalyst. She is a construction entrepreneur, Tedx Speaker, and one of the most sought after celebrity performance strategists. She is a powerful influencer and her success mantra is: "Life is not about discovering yourself, it is about creating yourself."