By Shreyansh Dixit
Contributory Author for Spark Igniting Minds
“Man is a social animal”. This is what we were told quite early in our school, which is very true. However many animals too are social and live under a relationship with each other in groups of family or herds but the only difference being is that human constantly re-lays his or her relationship with the passage of time and continuously monitors and changes the parameter for maintaining the relationship, according to mutual needs. Anyone can assess the most important relation in one’s life at present and would be surprised to find that it has changed from time to time with the passage of time.
Relationship change: The most important relationship for a newborn starts from mother and is replaced subsequently with father, brother, sister, peer & spouse, finally terminating with self. The relationship is a reaction to the basic instinct of needs by an individual. A child develops the relationship with mother on such a basic need of hunger at first, which then gradually develops to the need for safety and love at a slightly later stage. This means that the relationship can be developed or be tried to be made by an individual for a need for him from love, support, safety, money, or anything which is a requirement by an individual. If there exists a situation where the fulfillment of need between two beings is not there, there is all probability that no effort will be made by either to go in for any relationship with each other.
Relations are very important in human life and in fact, a person can definitely not live at all, without a relationship. A human develops a relationship with the family first and then outgrows it to a relationship with the society according to his needs.
Commercial relationship: Without relationship, the life on this earth would have been impossible, as it is only due to the mutual relationships that many businesses are running and all the facilities which are available 24 x 7 to us for maintaining a comfortable lifestyle is due to this, wherein an individual works towards a selected activity and shares with the population in general for a bargain on the other services or products. The result of this is that everyone, in a way, helps each other in supplying the paraphernalia needed for survival or for living a good life. Like we have with us today the necessary requirement of clothes, groceries, equipment, music, art, and all the other things which one can need at any hour including medical assistance which encompasses a wonderful commercial relationship of skill benefiting all. In fact, all the comforts in our life can be attributed to the relationship only. However, the fear of war and crime is also an outgrowth of it, in the wrong direction.
Relationship with self: The above being the general requirement of relationship but the innermost basic requirement of any relationship begins with the self and right after the birth the human gets involved in it and starts developing the relationship with oneself. This relationship travels also in one’s mind through both conscious and unconscious efforts and is directly related to one’s own thoughts and behaviour. One’s self-esteem is also associated with one’s own mind and is developed through the constant association of thoughts, most of which are wrongfully interpreted based on reactions by the people in and around.
Thoughts & Relationship: In a human mind by default, there is a tendency of getting negative thoughts more than the positive thoughts and out of total 60000 thoughts generally which occur in a day in one’s mind, 80 % are negative, fortunately, out of all the thoughts only 5 % are retained by the human mind and as such majority of negative thoughts get wiped away. It is pertinent to discuss the ways of getting positive thoughts and what would happen if we can control our thoughts and try to think positively always. It is also true that the only power which God has given to us along with our body is “Total and absolute authority to control our own mind.” Others may influence our thought, if we agree or disagree with them but ultimately the authority to think remains with the self only. In order to get to the core technique of developing proper relationships with self, it is necessary to direct our tendency of thoughts and amend it accordingly to our own benefit. Our mind is constantly at work and is constantly releasing thoughts which are relayed and received at amazing speed, both at the conscious and subconscious level. If that would not have been not possible in a subconscious way, we would have been busy all day and night, reminding our brain to constantly release the instructions and signals to our heart for pumping blood and lungs to breathe. The sleep then would not have been possible, and we would have been a junk machine ourselves in no time.
Developing a relationship with self: The best way to talk to the mind is through the process of inner dialogue in the serenity of meditation. Meditation brings your body and mind in a receptive stage, wherein the internal vibrations can be felt. For it to interact, the bodily functions have to be at the least by sitting down, closing eyes, in order to curtail any impulse of diversion through the physical senses. The process of such internal communication can be achieved the following way:
Concentrate on breathing, watch the gush in of air into your lungs and feel going it down to your belly, your belly getting inflated and then watch it going out during exhalation to feel it go through the lungs and out through nostrils, watch the speed and smoothness with which it goes out. Bring your attention to the small inactivity once the breathing intake is complete and the process of breathing out begins, watch the gap, notice it again notice the gap between the complete exhalation and the beginning of next intake. Notice these gaps more closely and over a few minutes one will be in unison with the body, the thoughts begin to stop. You observe the hearing, but you do not listen, you feel the surroundings but in fact, you do not. Start feeling each and every part of your body, not as an organ but as a feeling of having it, then spread your feelings to the whole body and once you feel it completely you will be going within it, you will be acquainted with it and you will begin to notice the “prana” inside the body and this is the moment of thoughtlessness then you suddenly realize that you have a special relationship with self and you feel complete with yourself and have the true relationship with your body and really understand your very nature of existence.
Effects of relationship with self: Over a period when harmony is established with your relationship with self, you start loving yourself and you start to do something creative. After each such meditation of yours, you throw an idea, an internal desire of yours to the universe through vibrations, You can create something for the others, it's only then that you are able to accomplish something and your future gets created instantly. In order to be in tune with oneself and to have the best relationship with oneself, one must be in a total state of awareness at all times. To be aware at all times, we should feel the act of ours in whatever activity we are in be it be listening to music, working, eating, or doing any activity. Feeling of doing is more important and it would give enormous satisfaction after the completion of that activity and to be aware is to go in silence with total involvement in our act of doing. Silence plays a very important role as space does. Without silence between notes the music can never be composed and without space no room or cage is viable. If we try to identify the “silence and space” in our life I think we are in proper relationship with ourselves and are in total awareness. Need is the basic necessity of a relation. The moment needs, requirement, longing, desire is removed for a particular goal is removed there is no effort by an individual to go in for a relationship. Relationship with self is the only lasting relationship for anyone till the end of existence of an individual, as a consequence, an individual continuously judges oneself throughout the life in assessing one's action by analyzing every bit of it, based on the reactions by others, the outcomes of action or self through assessment.
Nurturing relationship: Relationships can be good, bad, or creative. A good relationship is generally transforming into a creative atmosphere and a bad leads to the destruction. The relationship always needs to be nurtured and availability and accessibility is the foremost requirement for it to grow. The entities must always be first of available or must be in a state of ready constant supply to the other as the relationship between the wick and wax of a candle for it to be creative. The relationship may be personal, commercial, or creative, the best examples in sequence would that be Mother-Child, producer-consumer, and wick – wax respectively. Relationship with self is in two layers; generally, the outer relationship with self is quite visible in almost everyone, in terms of managing the body or relating to oneself in front of the mirror and managing looks, hair, etc. on daily basis. The real relationship, in fact, is with the internal soul within, wherein conscious and subconscious mind is what is needed to be tuned, for a greater and clear awareness of oneself, which, in fact, is missing in most of us and which is not really nurtured and not many efforts are made by an individual to develop it. The same can be developed with the practice of regular meditation. Meditation done twice a day is the easiest way to reach our destination of the journey of our existence...
Live, Love, Create, Give & Educate !!
About the Author
Shreyansh Dixit is a passionate writer, an altruistic man. He identifies himself first as a motivational speaker and then the Chief Manager of IOC. He not only follows various ideas of eminent thinkers but also perseveres to interpret and question them at an individualistic level. Having completed several full and half marathons, Shreyansh pursues to go beyond the general exegesis of life to find what appeals to him and humanity at large.