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It's time to heal

The Lockdown began, so did my restlessness and unease. I was overwhelmed by everyone’s “to do” lists. All around people were reading, cooking, meditating, taking online courses, and were grateful for the time they were getting with the family.

I happened to come across this meme sometime back. It asked:

Really! I wanted to jump in joy, and dance and kiss this smart mate of mine. I finally had someone sharing my feelings and penning them down.

Is it really that important to be positive and not give in to negative emotions?

Why can’t the lockdown be about acknowledging feelings of negativity? I feel angry, hurt, frustrated - and I want to be okay with that. In my daily routine (i.e. pre-lockdown days) I never had the chance or the time to accept these emotions that I felt or a possibility of acting on them. I had to be Miss Sunshine for family, friends, and colleagues every single day.

The holidays were always about enjoying places, great food and looking happy for the camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a pessimist or an ungrateful, negative person. I actually am pretty sorted and generally love whatever it is that I do. It’s just that I wonder that as humans we are bound to experience the bad with the good, but when is it really okay to express these emotions?

The so-called “me time” is always about massages, reading books, and catching up with friends.

What do we do with all the anger, frustrations, regrets, and sorrow that we are bound to harbor sometimes?

Let this lockdown be about not putting up the mask we don on every day. Let’s be what we feel. Let that pent up frustration, anger, and sorrow surface. Accept it and live it. Don’t let anyone judge you for it. Let this be about grieving everything that you lost, every tear that you wanted to shed, every misery that you ever felt. Feel it, accept it, enjoy it, live it!

Post lockdown I don’t want to be more evolved or an expert cook or a master of my emotions.

I want to be that person who got to live all the years of suppressed emotions. I want to be happy in my grief and remorse. Let those who want to judge, go ahead judge!

Covid-19 is my time to heal and be what I want.

“The restlessness within, the emotions so strong,

The sense of drowning, the never-ending pain.

Let me feel it all, let me live it all.

For when I am done, I shall be whole again.”

~ Arzoo

About the Author

Arzoo is our guest writer. She has shared some of the experiences on the relationships in her blog during the lockdown. There are a lot of takeaways from the blog. Please do share your experience in the comments.


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