By Veenu Shivdasani
Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds
The universe teaches us that everything around it is harmonious and in flow with life.
Every year in winter (beautifully aligned at the end of the year) trees shed all their leaves, and prepare themselves for new leaves, fruits and flowers. Jeffery MacDaniel, a poet by profession, beautifully weaves those thoughts “I realize there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting things go”.
When I think about it metaphorically, I realize that whenever something better is ready to come in our life, we go through an evolution (some of us refer it as trying times, or difficult times of our lives). In our childhood when our permanent teeth are ready, the milk teeth fall on their own. Similarly, seeds automatically turn into saplings and then into huge trees. In every stage, there is definitely a flow and an evolution in us and in nature.
I feel we all can be harmonious like the universe and let the life flow through us; after all, we are also part of the same universe right?
It is a human tendency to keep worrying about the broken relationships that have gone sour, we sometimes overindulge in the thought process and even after blaming self or others, very rarely do we find a mental balance; sadness & judgment creeps in and without our awareness becomes our second nature.
What if at the end of each year (winter), we too, like trees, learn to shed some relationships and let go off all the sadness and judgment along with it and start the new year with new hopes, new beginnings, new challenges and new people in our life. Just the other day when I was reading the book “Quote Me If You Can” by N.S.Rajan, I admired the richness of this quote “When you sail the seas of life, you need to distinguish between a voyage, a harbor, and a home”.
People will come into your life for a reason (voyage), a season (harbor), or a lifetime (home). When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do with each person.
Brain A(Drew) Chalker in his poem ‘Reason, Season and Lifetime’ has beautifully explained the journey of our relationships.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed to the universe. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and believe me, they are! They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away, sometimes they die, sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to let go gracefully just like the trees do in the winter.
What if we do not regret the past, nor wish to seal the door on it, but use it to grow & evolve into something better & stronger? When you are flexible, you are confident about the endless ways of doing things.
“Holding on is believing that there’s a past, letting go is knowing that there’s a future” – Daphne Rose Kingma.
Some people become a part of your life's journey for a particular season so that you can learn, grow and evolve along with they. They come and then leave, leaving you with either a lesson or a laugh. They may teach you something which you would not have anticipated or imagined ever in your life. They might give you an enriching and empowering experience resulting in abundant joy or bliss. Accept it and believe it! it is so real but only for a moment.
Instead of wishing for more and operating from desperation, what if we just allow it to flow, experience the joy, the inner fulfillment, and happiness?
Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution. Know that it is your time to evolve - Deepak Chopra.
Long lasting relations teach you lessons, which you carry till your last breath to have a solid emotional foundation.
Our job is to accept & acknowledge the lessons from our REASONS & SEASONS. Just the way the tall trees don’t shy away in showing off their scars, what if we absorb the presence of profound experiences and yet dare to love as we’ve never been hurt? Work like we don’t need the money? Dance like no one is watching us? Isn’t it an incredible way to put to use what we have learned in all other relationships and areas of our life?
Buddha once said, “You are your rescuer and you are your protector”.
Are we ready to accept ourselves as part of The Harmonious Universe where everything evolves naturally?
We all know that beginning is important: “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible & suddenly you are doing the impossible” – Francis of Assisi (One of the most respected religious figures in history).
I would like to dedicate my poem to those who are ready to move on…
आगे बढ़ना ज़िंदगी है,
न किसी के रोकने से रुकेंगे,
न किसीको टोकने से टूटेंगे,
न ही किसीसे नाराज़ होंगे,
बस अपने डगर चलते जाएँगे,
मंजिले कुछ और भी हैं
जिन्हे महसूस करके आगे जाना है,
मशाल ज्ञान के हाथों में लिए जो चले हम,
यह तो एक मोड़ है,
हमें तो बहुत आगे जाना हैं।
अपने आप अंधेर दिलों में एक दिया बन गए हम, ये दिये न बुझनेवाले दिये हैं, एक से दूजा दूजे से तीजा ... और न जाने कितने दिये टिमटिमाये हैं, मानो जैसे भोर हो गई हो, मानो जैसे सूरज निकल आया हो, यह सूरज उम्मीदों का पैग़ाम लेकर आया है, कल के ज़ख़्मों पर मरहम लगाने आया है, मरहम नये हौसलों का, मरहम नई उम्मीदों का, मरहम नये पुराने रिश्तों का, मरहम आगे बढ़ने की चाह का, मरहम एक एहसास का.. के आगे बढ़ना ज़िंदगी है, के आगे बढ़ना ज़िंदगी है।
About the Author
Veenu Shivdasani is the Founder of YES! I CAN, Changing Lives…, a Training and Development House.
She is an NLP Master Trainer from National Federation of Neuro-Linguistic Psychology, Florida, USA.
She is a certified Coach from Grow More Avenue (ACSTH-ICF).
In addition, she is certified in Applied Mahayana Buddhist Psychology and Ethics.