By Antara Kar
Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds
Do you often feel like -
"Why am I making too many mistakes; I often end up fighting. I can't stop complaining. I hate myself for what I did that day. It's my fault. Why did I trust someone like that? I actually don't even like myself. I am a Loser.."
Then you feel lost and tangled into your thoughts. And crawl into a shell.
This is where we enter the self-love dilemma...
Remember Geet from the film ' Jab We Met ', and her favorite punchline ' Mein meri favorite hu ..' This we should repeat whenever we get ourselves caught in this kind of situation.
This typical trail of thought viz self-love: is a reward of becoming the person we want to be.
Oscar Wilde says "To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance."
Self-love is confident yet selfish. It's the complete acceptance of who and what you are - the acceptance and affirmation both.
Self-love is the unconditional support, self-care, and compassion you give to yourself
that ultimately translates to good health, high self-esteem, happiness, inner peace and
The love you seek does not exist, but within you - Love is a desire, that you felt
momentary and hope to have it again all the time. But this desire for love from others cannot make you happy. It can only make you happy if it adds something new, or expand or reflect your own self-love. And loving others can only germinate from self-love: a reflection of the love you have for yourself.
You care for yourself the most. No one knows you better than you, what makes you happy and what hurts you the most. No one exists ready for your rescue, support or comfort. No one can make better choices for you, or give you an opinion on what you need to do - other than yourself.
You are the center of the universe - It all starts with you and ends with you. Between life and death; it's the stage that you are given to perform and exit. Which means only you are going to be with yourself for eternity. Always operate from a place of self-loving, rather than self-loathing.
Four self-love techniques that you should implement in your life -
Tune in to your inner voice - it has all the answers. We should learn to pay attention to our intuitions..because they are a powerful GPS to guide the decisions we make. Allow yourself “Me” time. Prayer or meditation is the space that we can gift ourselves to hear to our mind talks.
Shred and Reboot your mind – If you are currently not happy in a situation, due to
conflicting belief systems, please do shred your thoughts. And move out with dignity.
Reboot your system with brand new thoughts. There is always a first time.
Go on a solo date – sounds funny? A lot can happen, give yourself a chance. Invest in
fun, adventure, exercise, and healthy social interactions. Pamper yourself with a spa day! Just sit back, relax and enjoy.
Explore your spirituality - Believing in something opens up your soul. Explore your spirituality, it will take you on a journey to learning things about yourself and those thoughts, feelings, passions will make you appreciate yourself for being authentically you.
So, next time you feel low, mentally repeat to yourself three times:
I love myself just as I am.
"Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror " by Byron Katie
About Antara Kar
Antara Kar is a techie by profession and an author/ poet/ blogger by passion.
Her writing career started with fiction that she penned for a local magazine.
Blogging was always on her bucket list, and eventually, with panache and flair, it became a reality.
She is best known for writing articles, fiction, non-fiction, poetry and more. When not absorbed with a page-turner, she finds interest in cooking, traveling, sports and fitness.