By Sparkian Dr. Gazal Goyal Bansal
Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds
The word relationship has become a ‘hot buzz’ these days as if somebody who has been working for long years in the movie industry has gained superstardom overnight.
Everybody loves to talk, discuss and deliberate on this hot topic of ‘relationship’, without understanding the real meaning and depth of this word which defines very deep-rooted emotions and feelings between two individuals. Rather I would say they are like two different energies bounded by a natural cosmic force.
It is hard to define a relationship. It has wide meanings and different connotations. A relationship is not something you can dwell upon for few seconds, make notes and head for corrections. Relationships need proper understanding, constant caring, and long-term building. It must be kept in mind every individual is unique. Hence, every relationship is unique; different both in its context and culture. There should be no inter-mingling and overlap.
Since the beginning of the human race, we are in a relationship, whether with Mother Nature, fellow beings, the animal kingdom, plant kingdom or whatever exists in the form of energy and matter. A relationship is the foundation of each and everything. How we react and respond to a particular entity, defines our relationship with that. The important point to understand here is how the alchemy of these relationships converts our being into the most desirable and durable one.
The relationship is something you live, breathe and invest in, throughout your life. Relationships can never be measured in terms of materialistic gains and monetary equivalents. Any relationship strives on a threshold of these three strong parameters: love, respect, and happiness. If any of these emotions are missing out from any of your relationships, then that relationship will never grow.
I personally feel as a woman that whatever relationship you are in, whether it is with your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues, spouse, in-laws, or social connects, one needs to be liberal and open-minded. Relationships should be out of the garb of any compulsion. They should be free from any mental burden and shackles of any imposition. We should be able to live and breathe in the relationships that we adore and cherish in our lives. The punch line is ‘there should be no compulsion and impulsion’ in relationships. The alchemy must be so strong that it can convert any disbelief, distrust, discontent into empathy, ecstasy, and endurance.
The beauty of any relationship depends upon the basic premise of understanding between the two people; the ability to give rather than take and most important is the ability to live and let live in that relationship.
Sigmund Freud, the founder of Psychoanalysis and one of the most important figures in the history of Psychology said that ‘Love is the most important element in any relationship’.
According to him, love includes understanding, goodwill, and respect for the divinity in the other person. The more love and goodwill you emanate and exude the more comes back to you.
Maintaining self-respect and self-esteem in any relationship is of utmost importance. The point here is everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. Everyone needs to feel important in the world. Love is the emotion that serves as a safety valve and ensures balance, poise, and constructive effort. What prompted me to write on this subject is my own personal experience. It is almost 12 years to our marriage and we have seen many ups and downs together in our years of matrimony. We met through our parents and were complete strangers to each other. He is a complete workaholic, shy and an introvert.
I am quite different. I love to talk and interact with people. He prefers being in his own world. Despite having different personality traits, we welcomed each other wholeheartedly into our life. We are blessed with two sons. During our relationship’s journey, we encountered many challenges, both from the internal and the external world, but something strong kept us together which we never acknowledged and realized. I think every realization has a perfect moment and perfect timing.
We started our entrepreneurial journey two years ago. Coming from a typical conservative middle-class job-holders background, it was not easy to step into the shoes of an entrepreneur. We had our share of fights, disputes, and misunderstandings. We became associated with business partners with a multi-national global conglomerate and ventured into the limitless dimensions of the network marketing industry. The industry is huge, and its parameters are even broader and divergent. The irony is that only a few people understand its true potential and the teachings it provides. If one has to be successful in this industry, one must go through extensive learning and training.
During this journey, I came across a wonderful book, ‘The power of the subconscious mind’ written by Joseph Murphy. It completely changed my perception of life and relationships. I became certain about some very strong realizations in my life which have now become strong pillars of my life’s ideology. I realized that the strength of every relationship begins with a thought first, how you conceive that relationship and constantly nurture it with love, affection, and care and if still, any relationship is not working the way you want it to be, you should move ahead. We must value what gives us happiness rather than cursing at what we don’t have. The only mantra I believe in is ‘count your blessings first’. No relationship is perfect. We have to make it perfect. And all these learnings helped me in strengthening my relationships as well; be it with my children, my parents or other near and dear ones.
It is a universal fact that whatever you earnestly ask and seek from the universe, it conspires to give it to you. I was seeking a completely harmonious and beautiful relationship with the man I love, adore and respect. The universe has provided me with that path. The more I sought, the more I got.
An array of books like The Secret, Start with Why, Think and Grow Rich, Power of Positive Thinking, Power of Focus, The Alchemist, Sphere of Silence, Two Minutes from the Abyss, The Power of Intention followed. Certain ‘messengers of God’ came into my life and they guided me and mentored me on this beautiful journey of ‘knowledge acquisition’. All these made my realizations deeper and stronger. It was simply amazing to study this wonderful alchemy of human relationships, and the learnings I got were tremendous. Some of which I would love to share with my fellow beings:
The beauty of any relationship exists in the thoughts first. It is a universal truth that what you seek is what you get. Your habitual thinking creates your destiny.
When your habitual thinking is harmonious and constructive, you experience perfect health, success, and prosperity in every relationship.
Select thoughts that bless, heal, inspire, and fill your soul with joy. You are responsible for the way you think about others. Remember, the other person is not responsible for the way you think about him or her.
As you would want people to think, feel and act towards you; think, feel and act you towards them in like manner.
Constructive autosuggestions can release you from the negative verbal conditioning that might otherwise distort your life pattern, making the relationship status and goals more discordant.
Become emotionally mature and permit other people to differ from you. They have the complete right to disagree with you, and you have the same freedom to disagree with them. You can disagree without being disagreeable.
What someone else says cannot really annoy or irritate you unless you permit it to disturb you; the thought, emotion, reaction, and action all take place in your own mind.
You have the power to choose. Choose health, happiness, and abundance. You have to see whether you are being reactive or responsive.
Think from the standpoint of the eternal truths and principles of life and not from the standpoint of fear, ignorance, and superstition. Do not let others entertain you with negative thoughts. Choose your own thoughts and make your own decisions wisely.
Identify yourself with your own aim in life. Do not permit any person, place, or thing to deflect you from your inner sense of peace, tranquility, and radiant health.
We injure ourselves by the negative ideas we entertain. Anger, fear, jealousy, hatred, deceit, vengeance do not do any good. They destroy rather than build. Feed your mind with thoughts of harmony, health, and peace.
Every relationship must begin on a spiritual basis; honesty, sincerity, kindness, and integrity are all aspects of a sound relationship.
There is a law of action and reaction, or cause and effect. Refrain from criticism and condemnation of any kind. No one likes to be criticized or belittled.
The attitude of gratitude is the best practice. It brings great rewards; rewards in terms of peace, happiness, and prosperity. Send out loving thoughts of peace, harmony, and love to your spouse, to all members of the family, and to the whole world. Be thankful for everything; for your abundance, and for all your blessings.
In the end, I would like to say that our ability to generate feelings of love is unlimited, and when we love we are in complete harmony with the universe. love everything we can. focus only on things we love, feel loved, and we will experience that love, abundance, and happiness in multiples.
Love thyself and that is the only mantra to be loved…..
About Dr. Gazal Goyal Bansal
Dr. Gazal Goyal Bansal, Ph.D. is a Doctorate in Political Science, UGC (JRF), a Gold Medalist, A Certified ISO 22000 Lead Auditor, a Licensed Practitioner of NLP from The Society of Neuro-Linguistic ProgrammingTM & a Pranic Healer. She is the founder of Conscience Connect, a Life Coach and Speaker.
She is a radical enthusiast and a firm believer in the philosophy of conceptual pragmatism, logical reasoning, and the spiritual energy matrix. A staunch believer of the fact that before you speak, your energy speaks.