The Alchemy of Human Relationships

Updated: Mar 13, 2020

By Sparkian Dr. Gazal Goyal Bansal

Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds

The word relationship has become a ‘hot buzz’ these days as if somebody who has been working for long years in the movie industry has gained superstardom overnight.

Everybody loves to talk, discuss and deliberate on this hot topic of ‘relationship’, without understanding the real meaning and depth of this word which defines very deep-rooted emotions and feelings between two individuals. Rather I would say they are like two different energies bounded by a natural cosmic force.

It is hard to define a relationship. It has wide meanings and different connotations. A relationship is not something you can dwell upon for few seconds, make notes and head for corrections. Relationships need proper understanding, constant caring, and long-term building. It must be kept in mind every individual is unique. Hence, every relationship is unique; different both in its context and culture. There should be no inter-mingling and overlap.

Since the beginning of the human race, we are in a relationship, whether with Mother Nature, fellow beings, the animal kingdom, plant kingdom or whatever exists in the form of energy and matter. A relationship is the foundation of each and everything. How we react and respond to a particular entity, defines our relationship with that. The important point to understand here is how the alchemy of these relationships converts our being into the most desirable and durable one.

The relationship is something you live, breathe and invest in, throughout your life. Relationships can never be measured in terms of materialistic gains and monetary equivalents. Any relationship strives on a threshold of these three strong parameters: love, respect, and happiness. If any of these emotions are missing out from any of your relationships, then that relationship will never grow.

I personally feel as a woman that whatever relationship you are in, whether it is with your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues, spouse, in-laws, or social connects, one needs to be liberal and open-minded. Relationships should be out of the garb of any compulsion. They should be free from any mental burden and shackles of any imposition. We should be able to live and breathe in the relationships that we adore and cherish in our lives. The punch line is ‘there should be no compulsion and impulsion’ in relationships. The alchemy must be so strong that it can convert any disbelief, distrust, discontent into empathy, ecstasy, and endurance.

The beauty of any relationship depends upon the basic premise of understanding between the two people; the ability to give rather than take and most important is the ability to live and let live in that relationship.

Sigmund Freud, the founder of Psychoanalysis and one of the most important figures in the history of Psychology said that ‘Love is the most important element in any relationship’.

According to him, love includes understanding, goodwill, and respect for the divinity in the other person. The more love and goodwill you emanate and exude the more comes back to you.

Maintaining self-respect and self-esteem in any relationship is of utmost importance. The point here is everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. Everyone needs to feel important in the world. Love is the emotion that serves as a safety valve and ensures balance, poise, and constructive effort. What prompted me to write on this subject is my own personal experience. It is almost 12 years to our marriage and we have seen many ups and downs together in our years of matrimony. We met through our parents and were complete strangers to each other. He is a complete workaholic, shy and an introvert.

I am quite different. I love to talk and interact with people. He prefers being in his own world. Despite having different personality traits, we welcomed each other wholeheartedly into our life. We are blessed with two sons. During our relationship’s journey, we encountered many challenges, both from the internal and the external world, but something strong kept us together which we never acknowledged and realized. I think every realization has a perfect moment and perfect timing.

We started our entrepreneurial journey two years ago. Coming from a typical conservative middle-class job-holders background, it was not easy to step into the shoes of an entrepreneur. We had our share of fights, disputes, and misunderstandings. We became associated with business partners with a multi-national global conglomerate and ventured into the limitless dimensions of the network marketing industry. The industry is huge, and its parameters are even broader and divergent. The irony is that only a few people understand its true potential and the teachings it provides. If one has to be successful in this industry, one must go through extensive learning and training.

During this journey, I came across a wonderful book, ‘The power of the subconscious mind’ written by Joseph Murphy. It completely changed my perception of life and relationships. I became certain about some very strong realizations in my life which have now become strong pillars of my life’s ideology. I realized that the strength of every relationship begins with a thought first, how you conceive that relationship and constantly nurture it with love, affection, and care and if still, any relationship is not working the way you want it to be, you should move ahead. We must value what gives us happiness rather than cursing at what we don’t have. The only mantra I believe in is ‘count your blessings first’. No relationship is perfect. We have to make it perfect. And all these learnings helped me in strengthening my relationships as well; be it with my children, my parents or other near and dear ones.

It is a universal fact that whatever you earnestly ask and seek from the universe, it conspires to give it to you. I was seeking a completely harmonious and beautiful relationship with the man I love, adore and respect. The universe has provided me with that path. The more I sought, the more I got.

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