By Shruti Raval
Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds
We have all had an argument with either our friend, colleague, family member, partner or someone that we work or live in close quarters with at least once in our life time. But here is my question - What emotions did you experience in this situation and what did you learn from it?
While you mull over it, let me share my story.
It goes like this! A day before our last traditional day function at our law school, one of my dearest friends, Deepika, phoned me and asked whether I would be attending the event along with her the next morning. She wanted me to be there as it was the last celebration and a time when we all friends and classmates could spend some fun time together and capture a few memories. But as always I was confused about whether to go or not, whether I had a beautiful saree or dress to wear to the event. After much deliberation, I decided to go.
The next day my trio gang comprising of Deepika, Maahi and me met amid warm hugs. Maahi was my first friend in college, and was the only one who took me on a roller- coaster of college life; it was with her that I experienced almost all positive and negative emotions of friendship. She is the protagonist of this story.
So moving on, we were just hanging out that day and something happened. Maahi with absolutely no intentions to hurt me remarked on my appearance, forgetting the fact that I am overly sensitive person. But of course at that moment I choose to ignore it and not spoil the moment.
However, the thought remained in my mind, ingraining itself deeper and deeper until I was overflowing with thoughts and emotions the next day. I wanted to talk to Maahi and tell her how I was hurt by her statement. And I sent her text message. Unfortunately, my words were pretty strong and the message sounded rude, triggering an argument not just between us, but involved Deepika as well. And soon after I texted her, me, Deepika and Maahi had a heated argument on a conference call. We exchanged harsh words and we were convinced that this was the end of our friendship. But it was not.
The following week, we had our moot court presentation in college. Maahi and I had a notion that it will be difficult to face each other. And interestingly our roll numbers were consecutive ones. This made it inevitable for us to escape coming face to face for the presentation. After this point, whatever happened was unexpected and pleasant.
Our presentation was scheduled for 8:30 am. I entered the class at 8:15 and could not find Maahi anywhere. Perturbed, (may be I did care for her in my own way!) I asked a classmate to call and check her whereabouts. But Maahi did not answer the call.
In a few minutes the bell rang and we rushed to the presentation room where the guest judge was waiting for us to begin. Maahi had still not arrived so I asked my classmate: “Hey, did you look up Maahi’s code number from the office desk”. When he replied in the negative, I rushed to the corridor to look up her code. And THERE SHE WAS, running towards the classroom. We both hurried inside and settled down. That was when I noticed that Maahi the perfectionist that she was, reached late because she was arranging some extra documents to help her case. We finally presented our cases and heaved a sigh of relief.
Maahi and I walked out separately and sat down (of course, separately) near a popular tree in our college campus (That was our hangout spot in the college campus because tree always gives calm and peaceful vibes). We were desperately waiting for peacemaker Deepika that day. Few minutes later we saw Deepika walking towards us with a big smile on her face and in a totally chilled out mood. She gave us a warm hug and morning greetings. Her presentation was at 9:30 and she had to get to the room in a while. But one look at the two of us and she burst out laughing. She said, “Main aati hu thodi der me, tab tak chup chap baith to sakte ho na dono idhar?” (I will return in a while. Until that, I hope you both can sit quietly right here.) That was a pleasant and awkward moment as Maahi and I couldn’t control ourselves and we burst out laughing.
We were still shaking with laughter when Deepika waved to us and went in for her presentation. Despite Deepika’s apprehensions that Maahi and I might end up squabbling away in her absence, we proved her wrong. Maahi and I apologized to each other and enjoyed a cup of coffee together. We did not do anything to win each other again. Reconciliation happened because me and Maahi were always loving and forgiving towards each other. THE LEARNING We all learn something from our experiences, right! Be it good or bad. From this incident, I learnt that it is important to control a sudden flow of emotions. Instead of being impulsive, we must give ourselves time to explore those emotions. Questioning and self talk to assess the situation before acting or responding is a better option than impulsive reactions.
Secondly, I learnt that every person is going through their own battles inside their mind. Reasoning and understanding must be practiced, instead of constantly judging people and situations.
In the world everything happens in its own order: the sun rises everyday, the moon shines everyday, rain falls each year, great people existed in the past and will continue to exist in the future to bless our planet with wisdom.
What we need to do to help ourselves grow is inner engineering.
About the Author
Miss Shruti Raval is an Advocate by profession. Core team member Gyan Paradise and an upcoming social entrepreneur.
Writing is her passion. She truly believe in the power of words.
She is a voracious reader who have real zest for life.