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Unread Pages of my Diary

Updated: Mar 3, 2020

By Shweta Pathak

Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds

I was sitting in my bedroom. Only one name was running in my mind - Gayatri. Emotional battles are the toughest to handle, she always said, for, they are inside you. The whole battlefield is inside you, raging. You can continuously hear the noises in your head; battles that no one can see.

Gayatri is fighting one such battle for a very long time now.

Every day she faces the world with a smile so wonderful that everyone believes that she leads a fantastic life. A smile on the lips and faith in the heart are the most powerful weapons to fight any battle. She has a career that is a far-fetched dream for many in her profession. Additionally, she has supportive colleagues, an amiable work environment, and she is well received by everyone. To people, she seems to be on a roll, ever victorious. But nothing seems to compensate what she’s feeling inside her own self otherwise.

Battle gives injuries and some wounds are so deep that they’re beyond healing.

They say these wounds are a gateway for THE light to your being; the Divine light. The light gives you unwavering faith that someone is always there with you.

As the day ends, when Gayatri is back to her closed world, her smile switches off. She becomes the person that no one in her office knows about. She is like an injured warrior, blood oozing from her invisible wounds. Her mental battles are so deeply wounding and disturbing that she has completely withdrawn herself from all emotions. She only wants to work, not because she is a workaholic but that’s a place where she finds solace from her myriad thoughts. She likes to be with people who do not know much about her, and hence she can avoid any questions of her personal life. Back into her closed world, she cries, screams, breaks things to release her pain, anger, and helplessness and falls asleep.

She wakes up the next morning as if nothing happened the previous night. This is when she often questions herself if she suffers from a split personality disorder. After going through such agony every night, how does she wake up feeling normal, leaving no marks of tears that she shed through the night, and face the world with the same smile?

Little did she know, every night when she falls asleep the Divine light entered her through the wounds. The light that healed Gayatri came from His abode, a place beyond anyone’s reach. All battles end there; up there, there is no desire for desire.

I always wonder what is that is wounding her. But I never asked; it’s not important to know the whats and whos of the situation. All I look for is a space where a person can breathe in peace.

Sigh! most of the people do not understand this need for mental peace which reigns supreme over every materialistic desire. I am not worried for her, for, I know that the Divine light is healing her, showing her the path. Her unwavering faith will help her sail through any storm. I am not sure whether she will win the battle, but she will surely be able to fight all odds.

After all, life is not about winning or losing, but to stand strong and play your role, leaving the rest to the Divine power.

What has happened with her will stay as memories with her till the time she keeps them alive. Unless she decides to share her pain and help it ease out. Until then, I can only pray for her wellbeing.

About Shweta Pathak

Ms. Shweta Pathak

Shweta is an L&D OD professional holding a decade long experience. She is a Nature lover and likes reading fictional as well as real stories and Vedic Scriptures.

She has recently started a journey to explore Spirituality through the path of Vedant Philosophy.

She is keen to participate in the causes of environment conservation and animal care. Featured Image by Pexels from Pixabay

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Jan 18, 2020

Thank you Meenakshi for The encouraging words! It’s this encouragement that inspires us to say those unspoken words


Meenakshi Raina
Meenakshi Raina
Jan 18, 2020

Gayatri, the character of your write-up is the story of almost every girl rather individual, who combat many untold battles behind the closed doors yet at the battlefield of the world faking their smiles.

People who are confronting life with fearless attitude and a smile on their face despite of their pain and agonies are the Chosen Beings by the Creator himself. Must appreciate your skill of connecting and escalating the story of Gayatri from pain to Awakening, from distress to Peace and from bondage to Freedom.

Keep writing and keep inspiring.

All the best for all your upcoming endeavours.


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