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Family – the intricacies within

Updated: Dec 29, 2019

By Sparkian Meenakshi Raina

Contributing Author for Spark Igniting Minds

The other day I was talking to a friend over the phone, who used to be a loquacious and debonair person but this time she sounded opposite to all this. On enquiring the cause of her low spirit, she outburst in deep sorrow that her only son has to undergo a surgery for which her husband and her in-laws are alleging her.

To my surprise, I asked her that how come you are responsible for his surgery and illness? In the boredom, she replied that my husband and my in-laws are saying that you have not taken a good care of your son and as a result of which he has to go through this surgery. She further revealed that in such a painful situation; she is being taunted, scolded, and abused by her husband and moreover, she is being ignored by the family and because of which she feels suffocated. In her mourning conversation, she laments that am I such a wicked person, who can think inauspicious of her son? She further added that nobody is understanding my pain, where I am crying from within and scared to see the health conditions of my child.

I was listening to her, very patiently, so that she can come out of all the suffocation, which she was carrying in her heart, for long. With her agonized voice and painful tears, she further added that I have never ever hurt anybody in my life then why this happened to me? Taking a deep sigh and wiping her tears, she managed to calm down herself when I assured her that she is not responsible for what she is being blamed for, by her in-laws and her husband.

I made her understand that whatever good or bad happens in our lives is the outcome of our own deeds and no particular soul is responsible for other soul’s Karmas, so stop accusing yourself and be optimistic. I further make her understand that each soul is carrying his/her own Karmas which has to be borne by that particular soul and there is no escape to it. I understand that these statements of mine were not enough to make her turbulent mind stable and calm down her agony but still I tried to console her over the phone.

After a while, after disconnecting the phone, I sent her the following blog of mine on WhatsApp to help her to understand why we suffer the unfavorable circumstances in our lives titled "Knowledge of Karma Philosophy engenders ‘Spirituality’."

I believe that some of you might have come across such ruthless incident, somewhere in your life, where a person is being harassed or misused or exploited by his/her own family members for their personal benefits or for their dictatorship or for any such reason.

After this phone call, I felt very restless and was thinking that what type of relationship people are living these days where instead of giving solace, they are hitting the emotions of their loved ones and that too for a situation which is beyond one’s control. I was thinking that what for a couple takes vows at the time of their marriages when later they even don’t realize the meaning of a single pledge.

  • If the vows have become just a formality in our Indian marriages?

  • Are the couples getting married; just to play this blame game rather than to understand each other’s pain?

  • Isn’t this the prime responsibility of a family to come forward to support and to stand by each other, at the time of any adverse situation?

  • Why can’t people realize that their daughter in law wants acceptance, consolation and affection from her in-laws and most importantly the support and love of her husband in any given situation?

  • How come people forget and forgive the biggest of blunders of their sons and why a minute mistake of their daughter-in-law becomes an issue in the family?

  • Can’t people realize that their daughter-in-law is also a human being?

  • Isn’t this a major reason of depression in our society, nowadays?

  • Do you prefer to live in such a family where there is no love and respect for you and no value for your emotions and feelings and moreover, where you are totally neglected?

  • Why can’t in-laws treat their daughter-in-law, the same way as they regard their biological daughters?

  • Till how long; the so called human beings will continue to exploit and abuse the other human beings?

I am sure there is no answer to the questions I have raised above, why because, most of us are having a healthy bonding with our spouse and our in-laws.

Another interesting fact, which I would like to highlight here, is that if we know that there is any unhealthy relationship, somewhere in our circle, we act deaf and dumb to it, you know why because we believe it is their problem and we have nothing to do with it.

Let me remind you something from our revered Holy Book ‘Shreemad Bhagwad Geeta’, where we get a very significant message as how a person is equally sinful by keeping mum or supporting to the injustice done by other souls.

The Great Bhishma Pitamah witnessed all the inequity but never dare to raise his voice against the unrighteousness done by the Kauravas. The Great Karna, despite having a powerful body and an intellectual mind, supported the Kauravas and that too against his own biological brothers (the Pandavas) and The Great Dronacharya, who was a Great Guru of that time and was also well aware of the intentions of the Kauravas, still preferred to accompany their wickedness.

Don’t you think, in today’s life too, many of us are living a life of Bhishma Pitamah, Karna and Dronacharya, and are witnessing, supporting and favoring the injustice done by other souls to their own loved ones?

My question here is not to hurt anybody’s sentiments but just to remind one important aspect of human life that if you happen to see any such despotism or partiality around you, please dare to raise your voice against it and help such destitute souls to fight back for their rights and justice. We can also help them in so many other ways like we can counsel them, we can make them emotionally strong, we can boost their morale and we can provide them financial aid.

It is said that God helps those who helps themselves but for this we need to make such poor souls are mentally strong so that they can help themselves. If we are capable to raise the thinking pattern of any such soul in our circle, we must come forward for immediate help. This way we can proclaim to have served humanity in real sense and have lived a life of a human being as well.

Hope this write up has helped you to stand up for someone in your circle who needs your help. Please feel free to share your feedback right below the blog in comment box. God bless you!!!

About Meenakshi Raina

Ms. Meenakshi Raina

Meenakshi is a Financial and Administrative Professional, Passionate Writer, Blogger, Co-Author, Reviewer, and Spiritual Practitioner.

She writes on the different genres to bring a change in society.

For more information, visit Meenakshi Raina on her facebook page @

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